Saturday Night Live satirized Republican midterm campaign ads during the second episode of its 52nd season, setting the cold open inside Republican National Committee offices in Washington.
RNC ad consultants Andrew Dismukes and Ashley Padilla attempted to capture voter enthusiasm through candidate commercials, even as the party faced difficulties in the polls. Saturday Night Live centered the cold opening on the D.C. offices. Dismukes noted, Hey, if these Republican heavy hitters can’t do it, no one can
.
Rubio and McConnell Appear in RNC Spots
The producers wheeled out 84-year-old Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell. He followed a brief appearance by Vice President JD Vance, played by Jeremy Culhane, whose ad and presidential ambitions were hastily dismissed.
Colin Jost Portrays Pete Hegseth in Surreal Sketch
Colin Jost portrayed Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, who chugged Bero beer—described in the sketch as Spider-Man’s new non-alcoholic bitch beer
—and insulted the audience before urging them to vote.
Hegseth’s commercial featured a slam poetry session accompanied by bongos. Things take a turn for the surreal as he chanted verses on military priorities and sexuality, stating there are no weirdos, no beardos, no Jills who became Joes
.
What’s up, schlong donkeys? Now listen up, OK? Because I need all you patriots at home to do the gayest thing ever and vote. Because thanks to me, the military finally has its priorities and sexuality straight.
Hegseth noted that those stationed overseas can still vote by mail, which he called the only by mail I’m cool with
.
Trump Promises Cash Payouts to Voters
President Donald Trump, played by James Austin Johnson, stepped in to counter sliding poll numbers by promising cash payouts to the electorate. Declaring Wrong!
, the skit mocked political messaging.
If the Republicans win, I’ll give everyone $5,000, and that is not a bribe because I have no intention of following through on that promise.
Trump claimed Imagination makes a MAGA nation
because he is not actually on the ballot. He envisioned that phrase written on an obese woman’s booty shorts in dirty, disgusting Myrtle Beach
, which he called a hellhole
full of awful people
.
When asked to record a victory message, he insisted his party had won regardless of actual outcomes. He repeated We did it, we won! Nobody has ever won so much before
before closing the cold open.
Dakota Johnson Hosts for Third Time
Actress Dakota Johnson hosted the episode the night before her 37th birthday. She appeared in a prerecorded sketch as Mean, Scary Girlfriend
.
Taylor Swift crashed Johnson’s monologue and later presented the host with a blue-and-white birthday cake. Musical guest Turnstile, the Maryland rockers, made their debut on the show.
College football caused slight West Coast delays for the broadcast. An October 10 episode will feature host Shane Gillis and musical guest Rosalía.
