Hedge Fund Losses Pile Up Across Wall Street as Major Portfolios Contract
In a column published on internpierre.substack.com, the author known as Intern Pierre reports that several prominent hedge funds experienced steep drawdowns and asset sales during a turbulent market week often referred to by financial social media as “Nasdaqistan.” While the author outlines a personal strategy focused on capital preservation and structured 3+ sigma event hedges—pointing to overseas business travel in Geneva, Switzerland, and tracking the collapse of Once Upon A Farm—the broader industry picture involved severe portfolio contractions.
Among the most notable developments, the Wall Street Journal reported that the Arini fund has suffered losses of -25%+ year-to-date, forcing the firm to sell €2 billion of assets. This contraction arrived just seven months after favorable coverage from the same publication. Meanwhile, Bloomberg reported that other major institutional players were getting whacked.
Fund Contractions and Strategic Wind-Downs
Lone Pine (which was +40% in H1) is now -7.5% YTD. Tiger Global is -8.5% in October. Millennium was down in October and shut down several internal pods.
Structural shifts accompanied these losses. Engineers Gate is winding down more of its human-plus-quant strategy and only keeping five Portfolio Managers. Samlyn is exiting most sectors and only staying involved in financials, while Walleye allegedly cut senior leadership and long/short teams while returning capital to clients.
Substack Column Reveals Personal Wellness Habits
Shifting away from market mechanics, the internpierre.substack.com column details weekend lifestyle routines, highlighting commercial products and personal wellness habits. Although maintaining an active schedule of playing golf, working out with a trainer four times a week, and walking, the author notes room for improvement regarding diet, wine consumption, and occasional smoking.
Addressing a previous lack of skin care maintenance—attributed to a belief in natural appearance—the author adopted a regular regimen after persistence from Mrs. Intern Pierre. While Mrs. Intern Pierre is a heavy user of La Prairie products, the author relies on Malin+Goetz. Founded in New York City over twenty years ago by Matthew Malin and Andrew Goetz in a small apartment, the brand launched with six products designed for all skin types under a “less, but better” philosophy. The company also supports The Trevor Project, a suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for LGBTQ young people.
The column concludes by noting that Malin+Goetz ships globally, while clarifying that there is no commercial relationship; views are the author’s own.
